Body Wisdom: Healing the Burden of Shame

Ah, shame! That intensely powerful emotion that makes us blush, sweat, and wish the ground would swallow us whole. We're all too familiar with this feeling—it’s the one that gently, like a sledgehammer, reminds us we might have made a small faux pas at the family dinner. I start with a touch of humour because, believe it or not, psychopaths—lacking emotional awareness and detached from social norms—don’t experience shame. Now that’s a superpower some of us might envy!

Yet in reality, though shame can sometimes feel overwhelming, it serves as an inner guide. It helps us navigate the labyrinth of social interactions, steering us away from missteps and keeping us aligned with the unwritten rules of human connection. So, even when it feels like an unbearable trial, shame plays a crucial role by reminding us of our humanity and social conscience.

However, when it comes to healing trauma, shame is a particularly complex emotion to address. Deeply rooted in our psyche, it profoundly influences our self-esteem and overall mental and physical well-being. Its crushing weight can lead to dissociation and distress, even causing us to lose consciousness... Yes, we can indeed faint from shame!

This article invites you to explore the psychological and neurological underpinnings of shame, to understand its effects on our brain and body, and to discover alternative healing approaches that go beyond traditional talk therapy. By highlighting the potential of body-based therapies, somatic hypnosis (IFS/Parts Work), and shamanic journeying, we will explore how these practices can facilitate deep healing from shame and pave the way to authentic self-love.

What Happens When We Feel Shame?

Shame is often triggered by a perceived failure to meet social or personal standards, leading to a deep sense of unworthiness. This emotion affects not only the mind but also the body, as it reacts to the intense emotional pain. When we feel shame, we experience the sting of rejection, which can make us believe that we might be cast out from the collective, left to face the prospect of surviving alone. This fear taps into a primal instinct dating back to our caveman ancestors when being part of a group was crucial for survival. Being isolated could mean the difference between life and death, making the experience of shame deeply rooted in our evolutionary history.

Neurological Responses to Shame --> Shame activates several key areas of the brain:

1. The Prefrontal Cortex (PFC): Responsible for self-reflection and social cognition, the PFC becomes overactive during shame, leading to intense self-criticism and rumination over perceived flaws.

2. The Amygdala: The brain’s fear center, the amygdala, triggers the fight-or-flight response during shame, causing physical symptoms like sweating, a racing heart, or feelings of paralysis.

3. The Insula: This region processes self-awareness and internal bodily states. During shame, the insula heightens awareness of physical discomfort, such as stomach knots or the sensation of wanting to disappear.

Beyond Talk Therapy

While cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) and other forms of talk therapy are effective, they do not fully address the bodily impact of shame. Because shame can lead to dissociation—where we disconnect from their bodies—it is essential to incorporate therapies that help us re-embody ourselves.

5 Body-Based Therapies for Healing Shame

1. Massage Therapy - Massage therapy uses touch to help us reconnect with our bodies, releasing tension and emotional trauma stored in the muscles. This practice promotes relaxation, a sense of safety, and an embodied connection that can alleviate feelings of shame.

   
   

2. Cranial Osteopathy / Craniosacral Therapy - Craniosacral therapy is a gentle, hands-on approach that involves manipulating the craniosacral system, including the membranes and cerebrospinal fluid surrounding the brain and spinal cord. By accessing the body's deep intrinsic wisdom, this therapy can facilitate a subtle yet profound rebalancing and healing process at the cellular level.

   
   

3. Tantric Practices - Tantra offers a powerful avenue for healing shame by emphasising conscious touch, heart connection and mindfulness. These practices allow us to experience our bodies in a safe, non-judgmental, and self-accepting way, helping to dissolve the barriers of shame.

   
   

4. Breathwork - Breathwork uses conscious breathing techniques to regulate the nervous system and promote well-being. Depending on the level of practice, these techniques can range from gentle, often integrated into yoga sessions for harmonious nervous system regulation, to more intense practices that enable access to altered states of consciousness conducive to a shamanic journey (see below).

   
   

5. De-Armouring - De-armouring focuses on applying pressure to specific points in the body to release stored emotional pain and tension. This process helps dismantle the "armour" we've built to protect ourselves, allowing energy to flow freely and restoring a sense of vitality and openness.

   
   

Somatic Hypnotherapy: Integrating IFS/Parts Work

IFS/Parts Work: Engaging with Protecting Parts Overwhelmed by Shame

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, also known as Parts Work, is a powerful approach for addressing and healing shame. This method involves identifying and engaging with the various parts of oneself that carry specific emotions, beliefs, or memories. By connecting with parts that feel unworthy or burdened by shame, and understanding the "Protectors" that shield them, one can begin to heal and integrate these fragmented aspects of the self.

Enhancing IFS with Hypnotherapy

• Integrating hypnotherapy with IFS, in what I call somatic hypnotherapy, can be particularly effective for working with shame. Hypnotherapy allows for deeper relaxation and focus, making it easier to connect with and understand these internal parts. It also facilitates access to subconscious memories and emotions, often uncovering experiences that may be repressed or difficult to reach through traditional talk therapy. This deeper access enables more effective healing and transformation of the parts that hold shame.

Shamanic Journeying: Accessing Spiritual Allies for Healing

The Practice of Shamanic Journeying

• Shamanic journeying is an ancient practice that allows us to enter an altered state of consciousness to connect with the spiritual realm, often through the rhythmic beats of a drum. This profound healing method offers a unique and powerful approach to addressing deep-seated emotional wounds, such as shame. By connecting with spiritual allies—animal spirits, ancestors, guides, or other archetypal figures—during a shamanic journey, we can receive the strength, love and guidance needed to heal the wounded aspects within ourselves.

  
  

The Power of Spiritual Allies

• Animal Spirits: Animal spirits embody specific qualities or strengths, like a jaguar representing power or an owl symbolising wisdom. These animal spirits provide the courage and resilience needed to confront and heal shame.

• Spirit Guides: Benevolent beings, such as ancestors, ascended masters and deities, offer wisdom and guidance, providing insight and perspective that facilitates healing.

• Loving Spiritual Figures: Archetypal figures such as a nurturing mother or wise elder embody unconditional love and acceptance, helping to heal wounded parts by offering the love and reassurance that may have been missing during our formative years.

  
  

Healing Through Shamanic Journeying

• Connecting with Allies: In a shamanic journey, a meditative or trance-like state is achieved, often through drumming or visualisation. This state allows us to connect with spiritual allies.

• Receiving Strength and Guidance: Spiritual allies offer specific guidance on healing parts burdened by shame, whether through messages, showing how to release shame, or performing energetic healing.

• Integrating the Experience: After the journey, we can integrate the received wisdom and healing into daily life by embodying our animal spirit’s qualities and understanding the root cause of our shame—and transforming it through self-compassion and an unconditional acceptance of who we are.

>> For those familiar with shamanic practices, spiritual allies in the form of spirit animals, guides and archetypal figures often spontaneously enter a somatic hypnotherapy session, offering additional guidance, love and support.

The Importance of Re-Embodiment After Dissociation

Dissociation often emerges as a coping mechanism for intense shame, leading to a profound disconnection from the body. Over time, this disconnection can manifest as numbness, alienation, depression, and exhaustion. Healing from shame requires breaking this cycle by reconnecting with the body through re-embodiment practices.

Re-embodiment is crucial for reclaiming a sense of safety, presence, and wholeness. By engaging in body-based therapies, we can release the emotional and physical tension that shame embeds, transform its root cause, and access our deeper, authentic self—ultimately paving the way for a more integrated and fulfilling life.

>> Addressing our wounds related to rejection and shame is crucial for rebuilding a strong sense of self-worth and significantly enhancing our quality of life. I offer personalised guidance both online and in person to support you on this journey. Feel free to reach out to schedule an appointment.

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Recommended Reading on Shame:

• My favourite: "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovery" by Pete Walker - This comprehensive guide provides practical advice and exercises for healing from complex PTSD, focusing on understanding and overcoming the impact of complex trauma.

  
  

• "Introduction to Internal Family Systems: A Revolutionary Therapy for Wholeness & Healing" by Richard Schwartz - This book offers an accessible overview of the IFS model, including its key concepts and applications to understand the parts of us holding and protecting shame.

• "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Bessel van der Kolk - This best seller explores how trauma affects the body and mind, offering insights into body-based therapies.

  
  

• "The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse" by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis - This classic guide provides support and strategies for survivors of complex trauma, particularly focusing on child sexual abuse.

  
  

• "Healing the Shame that Binds You" by John Bradshaw - Bradshaw's book addresses the impact of shame on the self and provides strategies for healing, including body-based approaches and exercises.

  
  

• "Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma" by Peter A. Levine - Levine's book introduces Somatic Experiencing, a body-based approach to trauma and shame, explaining how to release stored trauma through bodily awareness.